February is deemed Heart Month and for two reasons. First, it’s Valentine’s Day, and secondly, it’s for cardiovascular health awareness. For myself, February is a month of heartbreak, and it’s a time for me to think about getting my health in check. I’ve written about songs in most of my articles, and the ones I select are usually because they truly touch my heart in many ways. Some songs reflect good memories, and some are of sad times.

Twelve years ago, this February, my mom passed away, and there are certain songs that I listen to this month that help bring me closer to her. I listen to the three songs that she had selected for her funeral, because yes, she did in fact, plan her own funeral and write her own obituary. She did this so that we wouldn’t have to bear doing this on our own with our hurting hearts. I do also have some old country songs that I listen to as well from when we used to take road trips when I was a kid.

I heard a song by Alan Jackson the other day titled “When I Saw You Leaving.” When I first saw the title pop up on Spotify, I immediately judged a book by its cover. I immediately thought it was going to be a song about a breakup. How many of you have judged a book by its cover? I know that I’m very guilty of it on many occasions. Heck, lots of us see or hear it many days on the road when someone judges a trucker even by the brand of truck they drive.

Anyhow, I decided to give this song by Alan Jackson a try. I heard these words,

“As time gets so more precious, every sunrise and old friend

Trying to be opposed, to lean on, a part you learn is hard to play

Asking God to let you take her place

or just take it all away.

Hope you’ll wake up in the

morning, was all just been a dream

You never take for granted every

second that you breathe.

When I saw you leaving, when I

saw you leaving

When I saw you leaving in my

mind.”

I burst into tears hearing these words because I could think back to the exact moment that I could see my mom leaving us. She was strong, and she was a fighter but it was the day she went in for surgery, and they told us there was nothing they could do for her since cancer had already spread too far. The doctor told us not to tell her the news until he got a chance to speak with her. The minute we got to go in to see her, she asked us how it went, and we said we didn’t know yet. My mom could spot a liar a mile away, and trust me, I know this from many years of experience!! You could tell that my mom knew the news wasn’t good, and you could tell she felt entirely defeated. She had been brave for so many years already, and this really took the wind from her sails. My mom never did come out of the hospital at this point. It was so hard to think that the end was near, and it was extremely hard to sit back and have the world taken away from us since she was the glue that held our world together.

Do any of you have songs that make your heart swell? Either in good times or sad times? As drivers, I find we have so much time to our own thoughts that we can really listen to the words of songs and relate them to our lives.

As for getting my health in check, I think I’m on attempt number 572! If I was a reefer, I would be stuck on stop/ start mode. I start a regime, go full force, then I give up when I encounter obstacles, then I stop completely.

People always say, “This year is going to be my year!” I really do think this is the year I get my act together and take care of myself for a change. Again, as a driver, it’s easy to let our health slide and fall prey to fast food, the lack of exercise, and the wonky sleep hours at times.

I’m usually a balls to the wall type of person, so if I don’t accomplish all my goals the first month, I figure, why bother then. I belong to a couple of different health groups on Facebook, and I’ve finally accepted the method of starting with small goals and work your way up. I have been a diet coke drinker for twenty-three years. I don’t drink coffee or tea, so diet coke was my go-to. As of this new year, I dropped the pop cold turkey and decided to make water my main beverage choice. So far, I’m seven weeks in and haven’t had a sip of pop yet. Each week I’m setting new goals like tracking food and water, counting calories and adding daily exercise. Every little bit helps, and with setting small goals, I don’t feel so overwhelmed. Does anyone else ever have that feeling that starting new habits is so overwhelming that you don’t even bother to try?

In 2020, I felt I let a lot of things control me because, in all honesty, there was so much we could not control. Even though we are living under some of the same conditions this year, it doesn’t mean I have to let it rule me.